Conflict resolution in the family:
Observations from a Simulation Game

	Hari Srinivas
	Management Tools Series E-046. May 2015.

In any conflict situation, different people behave differently - depending on the situation, their view of themselves, their ability to contribute to the situation, and the behaviour/participation of others in the conflict.

A simulation game was organized as a part of the training session on "Leadership for the Local Environment" held at the United Nations University from 6 to 9 July 2000. During the simulation, three groups, representing three urban stakeholders, the local government, business and industry, and NGOs and the community, attempted to resolve a potential conflict situation - a unilateral decision of the local government to build a waste incinerator - through dialogue, debate and discussion.

The objective of this slide show is to present, albeit humorously, the different 'roles' played by the participants during the simulation exercise.

	It was interesting to observe, even within the three stakeholder groups that the participants played, how individual characters and behaviour patterns played out to understand and resolve the conflict!
	During the simulation we saw the "Fair Mother", who always wanted to make sure that everyone participated in the discussion. She was flexible, fair and open to all, without exception!
	There were a few "Absent Father" - this person was not interested in what was happening - he usually felt that the problem did not concern him (even though it did!). He just sat at the back, detached and sometimes bored!
	The "Wise Grandma" was a happy person, who observed the proceedings with a sharp eye, but spoke only when necessary, and only when there was something significant to be shared to the discussion!
	This was the difficult one - the "Tough Mother-in-Law" These were the loud ones, who were pushy, always wanted to speak. They were inflexible, quickly rejecting other's ideas and overriding suggestions
	Unlike the Absent Father, there were the "Scared Kids" who were watching everything happening and probably had something to positive to contribute, but were too quiet and shy, and didn't like the sound of their own voices!
	Some played the role of a "Nice Uncle" who always made jokes, generally kept everyone happy. While not quite contributing to the actual discussion, he did attempt to smooth disagreements, and brought chocolates for everyone!
	And then, in the end, there was the "Good Leader." This was the person who wanted to listen, who wanted to make sure everyone spoke, and generally helped keep an even keel to the discussions

After seeing the above 'roles' that they played, the participants agreed that, in a real conflict situation, a good leader will have to use all of his or her skills and info at hand, to handle these different kinds of people. In fact, a good leader will probably be a combinations of all of the above types, to be able to lead different kinds of people.

Ultimately, conflict resolution can be a powerful tool for engaging people in important issues. The simulation game showed that it was important to encourage people to think and talk about various issues, such as conflict resolution, gender roles, and social justice. It helped spark discussion and debate and motivate people to take action.

Such exercises can promote understanding and empathy -by allowing people to step into different roles and perspectives, it can help to break down barriers between different groups of people and promote understanding and empathy.

Bringing different people together to resolve conflicts can also be used in education to raise awareness on a range of topics, and can be a useful tool for community development, promoting social change and community development. It can help to build community cohesion, encourage participation, and empower marginalized groups.

Overall, the simulation game highlighted the potential benefits of using conflict resolution as a tool for promoting engagement, understanding, and social change.

Appendix: Five Key Aspects of Conflict Resolution Active Listening: One of the key aspects of conflict resolution is active listening. It involves listening to the other person’s perspective and trying to understand their point of view without judgment or interruption. Empathy: Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another person. It is an important aspect of conflict resolution as it helps to build trust and rapport between the parties involved. Communication: Effective communication is crucial for resolving conflicts. It involves expressing oneself clearly and effectively, using assertive language, and avoiding blaming or attacking the other person. Problem-Solving: Conflict resolution involves finding a solution to the problem that is mutually acceptable to all parties. It requires a willingness to compromise and work collaboratively to find a solution. Emotional Regulation: Conflict resolution requires emotional regulation, which means managing one’s own emotions and reactions during a conflict. It involves staying calm, avoiding aggressive behavior, and focusing on the problem rather than personal attacks.

Source:

Based on observations during the training session on "Leadership for the Local Environment" Simulation Exercise held at the United Nations University, Tokyo, Japan, 8-9 July 2001